Hello! I’m Wilber, your Stable Master. And you’ve come to the hottest new web site that’s taking the internet by storm! Yes friends, it’s “Sarah Jessica Parker Looks Like A Horse!”
Poor Sarah, she’s the very definition of a “Butter Face.” (A special shout out to our pals at The Onion for the Weekender cover.) Years ago in the late 1990s Sarah Jessica Parker went from Horseface to Household Name by starring in HBO’s raunchy urban fashion farce “Sex and the City.” Sure, she was butt ugly. But her bod was hot enough to look the other way. Sadly, since the HBO series came to an end, Sarah has not aged well. In fact, recently Sarah Jessica Parker was voted “The Unsexiest Woman Alive” by Maxim magazine. Pity.
Yes, she is horse-like. But so what? That doesn’t mean she’s a bad person. Or a bad actress. In fact, she’s a pretty darn good actress if you asked me.
Still, being cursed with that omnipresent chin mole must weigh on her mind. I once bumped into Ms. Parker at a Manhattan Starbucks in the West Village. She looked sad. I said to her, “Why the long face?”
We have nothing against poor Sarah. Nor do we have anything against her passionate legions of tragic, misguided wannabe fashionistas who still place the once-popular actress on a pedestal. We just think she looks a little like a horse. Are we wrong? You be the judge. Just take a look at the evidence on this humble site.
My staff and I have lovingly pilfered over a dozen compelling shots from various sources that suggests maybe, just maybe, Ms. Parker looks like a horse. And most certainly an unsexy one at that.
The Stable Master
SJPLLAH is a non-profit effort and is provided as a free public service to those who love horses as well as Ms. Parker’s impressive equine-like appearance. If you have enjoyed this humble web site, please make a donation to The Coalition for New York City Animals that helps protect the abused New York City Carriage Horses. Thank you and God Bless.
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