Sarah Jessica Parker Looks Like A Horse

Friends,

Below is an important note we recently received from The Greater California Bay Area Equine Anti-Defamation Society. I’d like to personally offer a heartfelt apology to any horses that may have been offended by this humble site. God Bless.

Wilber
The StableMaster

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To whom it may concern,

I am the Executive Vice President of Communications for the Greater California Bay Area Anti-Equine Defamation Society and I am writing to you this morning regarding the Sarah Jessica Parker Looks Like a Horse web site.

We, of course, think it’s a terrible tragedy that you would choose such a repugnant, repulsive, and revolting public media figure to compare with a magnificent, majestic, and marvelous beast such as a horse.  Horses have served humanity with great loyalty and devotion for centuries.

We have great difficultly understanding why someone would compare them to a talentless, soulless hack like Sarah Jessica Parker (who is often misidentified as being an “actress.”)

We here at the Greater California Bay Area Anti-Equine Defamation Society say “neigh!” to these untoward and unwelcome comparisons!  It may seem humorous, on the surface, to post pictures of Sarah Jessica Parker next to beautiful horses but think of the potential consequences!

If some poor horse happened upon your website its self-esteem could be severely damaged, resulting in years of equine self-image recovery therapy which, in addition to being a burdensome, tedious, and laborious recovery process for the individual animals involved, is also an extremely expensive. Unfortunately, this adds undue and undeserved financial hardship to the horse, often resulting in bankruptcy and early retirement to the glue factory.

What seems, on the surface, to be a casual joke has far-reaching consequences because of its dissemination on the world wide web. Sincerely, we would like to urge you to reconsider the maintaining of the site.

Perhaps it would be equally satisfying to run a site with a more apt comparison, one that wouldn’t have the potential to emotionally damage untold millions of innocent, noble horses worldwide?  We would like to suggest that you close the Sarah Parker Looks Like a Horse web site and instead perhaps compare her to something more apt. We’d like to point out that SarahJessicaParkerHasAFaceThatRemindsUsOfAPuckeredRatAnus.com is available (also available in .net and .org!).

We did an exhaustive investigation and it does not appear that puckered rat anuses have a representative anti-defamation society (swollen and diseased puckered rat’s anuses are heavily represented, however, by groups which for some mysterious and terribly unclear reason also refer to themselves as “Beliebers”).

Thank you for your thoughtful consideration regarding this matter,

Bamboo “Ed” Harvester