The Feedbag

We’ve received thousands of messages from fans of both Sarah Jessica Parker and horses! Sadly, it seems the only unhappy email is coming from overweight, middle-aged, tragic single gals who live vicariously through the whorish antics of “Sex and the City.” For every negative email, we get a dozen positive ones. Folks, we regret we can’t post everyone’s message, but we’ll do our best. Below are recent comments from the official SJPLLAH mailbag feedbag. Letters may be edited for clarity, typos or length.

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“…Too Funny! The thing that makes SJP pretty has to do with her confidence. I am sure Sarah Jessica is laughing along with the rest of us.” — Cheryl R., Pasadena MD

“...Great site! I am in Iraq right now and just wanted to let you know that you have given us over here a tremendous laugh!” — J.D.

“This is a rude, base, despicable site. It’s incredibly mean. If such a site were made about me, I’d off myself. You should be ashamed for your disparaging characterization of this lovely actress. This is also, I must say, one of my favorite websites. You clearly put a lot of effort toward mastering the poses, and the lighting, and, in every side-by-side, the resemblance is undeniable. I look at it nearly every time I’m stoned and LOLOLOL. It’s a masterpiece of which you should be proud. And, of course, ashamed.” — Love, Monica and Daniel

“My best friend and I are avid SATC fans but this website had us both on the floor in tears from laughing so hard. Websites like this is the reason I get out of bed and procrastinate online all day. My Facebook friends thank you as well.” — Kabba C.

“I just saw your website and I find it VERY pointless. I mean, there is NO point in it at all. You are just a sad ass little jealous bitch…you are pathetically stupid. You need to grow up.” — Danielle G.

Thanks man, you fucking made my day!  🙂  I hate mornings, especially after a night of no sleep but thanks to this site I’m in a good mood. I stumbled across your site and nearly fell off my chair laughing. Don’t mind the haters, they are just cruel to animals and SJP makes millions so she shouldn’t complain anyway.” — Sophie  V.

“I’m not sure where you got this idea from but let me tell you where I got the idea from. But first, I don’t think it’s mean at all she’s got money she’s got Fame she just doesn’t have a pretty face. Can’t have everything in this world. The first time I heard this comparison was many years ago when I would listen to Howard Stern everyday driving to work in Manhattan. As you know he insults everybody and that’s the first time that I heard anybody say that she has a horse face. It’s funny that I look this up recently, because I was talking about her husband and that’s where my comment came in. Then I did the Google search and found your most wonderful pictures. I love these pictures keep them coming. As a matter of fact I think you have enough you have a lot of different horses a lot of different Jessica’s and some great comparisons. Thanks for giving me a good laugh. — Robert S.

“I want to let you know personally that [this site] is the most epic site ever. LOL — Shane W.

“I am in tears!  Damn that is funny! The matching of pictures is genius.  Thanks for the laugh! — Kitta P.

“I appreciate that it’s all in the name of a laugh. I really did not get the impression that you were trying to hurt anyone. I didn’t think I’d even give the website a second thought after I chuckled at the hilarious horse puns!” — Jenny B.

“Horrible and mean. Your [sic] a terrible person. Sarah Jessica Parker is beautiful and does not look like a horse. U obviously are insecure in your own skin and it makes u feel better to put soneone else down. Get a life.”  — Michelle E.

Very funny website! She does look like a horse!” — Platon

“You’re a genius!” —David C.

“You are very childish & mean spirited & ugly. Post a picture of yourself so others can make fun of you. Find something more constructive to do w/ your time ugly.” —Star L.

“This was hilarious and made my entire year. Thank you.  —Jessica H.

“I’m sure you’ve had plenty of people visit your site after watching Lisa Lampanelli’s comedy special. I was surprised with the detail and commitment you’ve displayed. No criticism intended. Are you a comedian yourself? Or is it simply to find amusement in creating an in-depth comparison between an aging celebrity and our equine friends?” —Hannah A.

“I absolutely love this website. Cannot stop laughing. Please keep this going.” — Joey C.

“My friend and I visit [your] website religiously when we’re in need of a good laugh.” — Melanie J.

You’re too funny! Thank Lisa Lampanelli for telling me about this site. What’s next?” — Sammi

“I actually was watching divorce and I couldn’t stand looking at her and I kept wanting to whinny! The only reason men like her is her body…which will go and is going with age.” —Wendy B.

“You are god!  Thank you! LMAO. Thanks, and have a great day!” — Adam B.

“First time in a long time I laughed this hard, Sarah is actually an attractive woman, but I get what you are saying, thanks for the laughs!” — Frank M.

“Whhoooaaaahhh, Wilber, this shit is brilliant. I have shown this site to countless friends over the past few years and all have been next to tears laughing. I want to know how many blunts it took to come up with such an amazing premise for a website.”  — Hank

“I just saw the website and thought it was brilliant my luv. Made me laugh!”  — Adam D.

“Just wanted to tell you that I am laughing my ass off at this site! Thanks so much for creating it. You have given my a good 30 minutes of non-stop giggles. I’ve thought poor Jessica had a horse face ever since that show “Square Pegs” in the 80’s. Glad to see someone agrees with me. Thanks again!” — Karen L.

“You are a fucking idiot. Sarah Jessica Parker is way more famous than you EVER will be. Penis”. — Alex J, UK

“Why is it funny? Sarah Jessica Parker isn’t stereotypically pretty. That’s what is great about her. So, she looks like a horse. Horses are nice. Made me laugh! — Nolan W.

“This site is great, but if you could clarify which is the horse and which is the alleged human. Thanks.  — Mark Z.

“Oh my god, I think your website is one of the funniest websites out there!” — Diane M.

“Your site was quite funny. Thanks for the laugh!”  — Jonathan D

“Your site is really funny. Everybody was crowded around my computer the other day at work checking it out.” — David D.

I love this website! I just fell off my couch because I was laughing so hard!  You should definitely include this South Park episode about her! Thanks for the laughs! — Lisa Z.

“I love the site but love the responses way better, especially the one’s trying to support her, let’s face it SJP is butt ugly and nobody can deny that!!! What a Crackup!” — Craig C.,  Australia

“Seriously, your site is ridiculous. Does it feel good to belittle some one? Do you feel like a big man for doing so? Such a sad person you are. ” — Christopher L.

“This is very immature! You should get yourself back to the playground. Are you a misogynist or have some other inadequacy that courses you to criticise [sic] successful women? Start doing something of benefit in the world rather than pulling people apart.” — Susanne B.

“I think you just about summed it up but hilarious as well. After I sent the link to thirty people I had to stop laughing to send this.  She does look like a horse but the horse had less warts. Don’t ever stop this site, I love it. — Terrie M.

“Have you ever considered the concept that she is a foot?” — David B.

“Dude, this is just plain mean! What did horses ever do to you? You should post a disclaimer saying you have nothing against horses, ‘cus if I were a horse, I’d be pissed.  — Killshot

“I stumbled across your site. I’m a professional cartoonist and comedian and I can certify that it’s funny stuff.” — Michael Capozzola

“OMFG you guys are freakin’ brilliant. This women looks just like a horse. She needs to be caught and be put in the freakshow. And everybody that says you are immature needs to STFU. Seriously everybody makes fun of famous people for example I make fun of snooki for having a tan that makes her look like an orange. And you really need to look inside yourselfs since you are also calling him/her an ugly person. Seriously keep it up! ” — Chris P.

Love the site, good fun. I watched Ed Wood recently and nearly spilled my milk during the scene where she asks if she really looks like a horse. Anyway, I also wanted to share that my 4-year-old daughter recently got a present from her mom of a toy horse. It’s a plush thing that’s big enough for her to sit on and whinnies when you pull on its reins.  My little girl who has no idea about Sex and the City, pop culture, etc. decided out of the blue to name this beloved new toy “Sarah”. Perhaps it’s fate or maybe that name is now just ingrained in our collective subconscious as the perfect “horsey” name, but I thought it was perfect!” — Stuart R.


“SJP definitely looks like a horse. You’re a damn genius, Wilber. Don’t let the man-haters get you down— keep soldering on Stablemaster.” — Jay F., New Jersey.

Too funny!  Now, how about starting a companion blog about another big time horse face, Lionel Richie!” — Susie R.

“You are, by far, the most sexually frustrated, dried up person on earth, to make a website like that.” —  Ssieneke S.

“Thank you, I laughed my ass off more than once!  You must be quite a freak to put your time in for that — in a good way.  I applaud you! 🙂  —Jens P.

“LMAO!  If people have already told you about the show glen martin dds where they make fun of sex and the city and they show sarah parker as a horse! LMAO!”

“Grow up. This is just pitiful. You’re going to hell.” — McKenzie M.

” I am quite disappointed with your site. I surveyed the entire page, and not once did I see the word, ‘skank’. I hope you remedy this oversight as soon as possible. — Scot Parker (no relation, thank God!)

“I am assuming by your insulting page to Sarah Jessica Parker that you don’t have a life nor better things to do with your time and brains (if any). A man who insults a woman the way you do to this actress is not really a man, you are a coward who uses the internet to spill poison and to share your idiotic views and just because you have a computer and a connection does not give you the right to create a website like this. I am assuming you are a horse lover so all you have to do is look at yourself in the mirror becauses asses like you don’t come by very often, thank God for that! ” — L. W.

“Exxxxxxccccelllllent!!! I wonder if Matthew has ever had similar thoughts? — Shaun P.

“It’s uncanny how very similar the pictures are. Also, I noticed that she really doesn’t take a good picture. I can’t really talk cause I don’t either, but I don’t try make a living being beautiful. Thanks for your help to make me feel better about myself.” —Nora B.

“What about Tori Spelling? I’ve seen her and I can tell you  – I have yet to decide which she resembles more; a horse with huge wide apart bulbous eyes, E.T., (or any other alien), a blow fish or father Aaron. Secondly, there are the “lovely” (ugh) Willis girls – in particular Rumer who I’d venture to say is about as ugly as they get. SJP does have a cute quality and talent and she seems likeable. Tori also seems sweet but she is so hideous looking – oh, I forgot to say that perhaps she more resembles a drag queen. She piles on the makeup and only looks worse. She is passable as an actress and I’ve enjoyed some of her tv films but I have to say – there is no doubt in my mind how she and Rumer became big names and it is called NEPOTISM. When I saw Rumer Willis several years ago as “Miss Golden Globe” in a knit cap, with that face, it did not occur to me at first who she was and I thought “OMG – who is that horribly ugly girl? She is clearly SOMEBODY’S daughter or neice”. BINGO!!!!   I would like these girls to do something on their own such as obtaining a college degree – it will never happen.”  — Barbara S.

“Funny? Mean? Yup, but accurate. Wilbur, you & I think alike!  I just happened upon your site.  I have been comparing her to a horse for years! I don’t mean to insult horses.  They are beautiful animals. Unfortunately people don’t make beautiful animals.  She is such an example. Thanks for putting this fact online!  Best to you.” —Marla

“Absolutely love this site! Cracks me up everytime I see it!  Thanks for the laugh.” — KC

“She does a pretty damn good job of being fabulous despite some unfortunate features.” — Nicole D.

“My wife brought to my attention last night, completely out of the blue, and I nearly pissed myself laughing at just the name. Then we went to the site and I spent another half hour laughing til my face hurt.” — Erik W.

“Bravo, I’m still laughing.” — RR

“All I can say is…poor horse.” Best website ever! — Mikki

“You should also mention that’s what happens when you party too hard. She’s definitely a cokehead and she looks 60. LOL! Nice Site. — Green Bay Fan

“LMAO! Best site ever invented! I love it, but, who would compare such a beautiful creature to SJP!”  —Emma USA

“Greetings from Down Under!! Love this site…funny as fuck...thought for years that it was only my friends and me who thought that SJP looked like a horse..nice one!” —Jillian F.

“Some are saying they laughed so hard they almost cried. Hell, I DID laugh so hard when I saw the site that I DID cry painfully with laughter! PLEASE, keep it up! LOL!” — Hassan B.

“The day I discovered your site, I was so happy I thought I was going to cry! It is so fantastic!” —Kristin

“This site is genius…pure genuis.”—Bret A.

“You clearly have severe mental issues to develop such a website. Get a fucking life, idiot.” — Jillian K.

“Your site sucks.” — Anna M.

“…we all really love your site. I swear to G*d, Sarah Jessica Parker looks like a man in drag. A tranny strutting around the meatpacking district for christs sake.” — Bo Belly, Long Island, NY

“LOVE the site!!  Makes me laugh everytime I check it out.” — Jose O.

This site is the best. I don’t know what is worse, her horse face, witches chin, man hands, or the hairy mole. However, I think you have gone too far. To compare those poor horses to such a hideous creature is unfair. Thanks for the laughs, you made my day!” — Paul R.

“Just a quick message to say stop hating. With the time and energy you put into hating someone who you don’t know and who doesn’t know you I would say it’s a waste! Put your energy into something worthwhile. Just a thought.” — Sarrah C.

“You may be interested to know that SJP FINALLY had that ugly-ass tumour removed from her chin. Did the wake-up call come from looking at her magnified face on the big screen? From your web site? From Maxim’s unflattering comments? Why would someone with such high visibility REFUSE for so long to NOTICE that her HUGE MOLE was DRAWING ATTENTION to her MANLY chin? That shall forever remain a mystery. Nevertheless, that abomination is gone. Too bad her career is now over.” — Dany G.

“…My husband knows I’m a SJP fan. When he came home from work this morning, he booted up my computer and put your Home Page on for when I sat down with my morning cup of coffee to check my email. Yeah, coffee blew out of my nostrils and I laughed my ass off, practically peeing in my nightie, never expecting to see Carrie Bradshaw side by side, compared with an assortment of other Nags!  I Love SJP, but your site is a winner – by a Nose!” — Barbara, Florida

Why does it matter that she looks like a horse? I mean, in the grand scheme of things, why does it matter that a woman of substandard or unconventional beauty is famous? I marvel at the fact that you spent what must have been hours creating that website. Ah well. Enjoy it.” — E. Vardon

“Does everyone with unconventional features offend you to the same extent as Sarah Jessica Parker?  If so, your blood pressure must be through the roof.  Don’t you have anything else to do? Get a life. I bet you’re a creepy little troll. Maybe you just need a good therapist.” — Katelyn L.

“Your site is excellent.  :- ) Sure are a lot of whiny people bitchin about it, but let’s face it: Sex and the City is a man-hating show.  That’s why it’s offensive to men and a big part of why we think she looks like a horse – well that and she DOES look like a horse.  🙂 — Terry D.

“I liked your site. There was an early movie with SJP where she is superhot. Check out LA Story. SJP has only a small part; she plays a loose, bubbly Valley Girl who sleeps with Steve Martin at the drop of a hat. She has always had that raggedy look, and I think smoking has done bad things to her. But give her a break; everybody gets old and semi-awful looking.” — Robert N., Houston TX

“You’re a legend. LOVE THE SITE! COMEDY GOLD!” — Brad H.

“What a load of horse shit.” — Charles M.

Best. Site. Ever. Your site is the reason they invented the internet.  Thank you so much.  I’m just a little upset I didn’t come up with it first, but, hey, at least someone did.  Thank you. Really. From the bottom of my heart.” — Jon

“AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Greatest website in creation. Thanks for the laugh! — Paul

“I must say…you and your site come across very shallow and immature. I would love to see a pic of you. I bet your (sic) bloody ugly and have no friends…grow up!” — Darren S.

Your web site is fabulous. I have no idea why she’s been named a fashion icon. She does have a horsey face, though no one can blame her for that. Please put up a photo of her Oscar display. She tried to look 22, but she should at least give in to her age.” — L.H.

Your website is shameful! How dare you! Do you have no soul? Every one of God’s creatures is beautiful, so it is an outrage that you would insult one of the world’s most beautiful creatures by comparing  SJP to a them! What has the horse ever done to you?” — Mark C.

This site is awful. This is an insult to all those poor horses!” — Christopher W.

“…You try to point out SJP’s flaws in your site (although in an immature, elementary kid manner), but yet the whole time you are broadcasting these opinions, you are nevertheless advertising SJP. Ever hear of a such thing as, “theres no such thing as bad publicity?”— Jennifer, Upstate New York

“…This website is pure genius, thank you for making this and bringing joy to everyone with internet access around the world.” — Fredo O.

“…SO EFFING FUNNY! Bravo, to you stablemaster!” — Holly C.

“Picture #6 is the Winner, # 15 Places her in the race and # 4 Shows her best side. Had she slept with MR.BIG…BROWN…yet, or is that the look from picture #8.” — Gary S., Waynesville, NC

“Thanks to this site, you make (SJP) bankable as ever. Truth is, at the end of the day it is she that laughs the hardest all the way to the bank. I admire this site for supporting Sarah Jessica Parker.” — Visivo P., Manila

“TOOO GOD DAMN FUNNY. Thanks for the laugh.” — Sarah

“Your site is the creation of a small, ugly and petty person…and when I say ugly, I am mainly referring to your inside, even though I bet you are very ugly on the outside as well. I find SJP beautiful and an inspiration. Hope you have a good life.” — Anna, Israel

“…at the beginning of the Tim Burton masterpiece “Ed Wood”, there is a scene that features Sarah Jessica Parker uttering the line: “Do I really have the face of a horse?” — Capt.

“Brilliant!” — Edward H., Los Angeles

“…I’m not single or overweight. And I think she’s gorgeous. And a great actress. I think that the makers of this website are single girls who are overweight and wish that they could pull off some of the things she does in Sex and the City but they can’t due to the cankles weighing them down.” — Julie G., Austin, Texas

“…I have so much agreement with you. I cannot believe this woman have so much illusion on her appearance. People cannot help for how they looks. But I hate her ‘great of me’ attitude toward other ordinally woman. Her sense of superior makes me sick. She should have a mirror on the wall…” — Lily Du

“You guys rock. This is the best f*ckin’ site ever!” — Phillip L.

“I hate to think what would happen if she broke an ankle!” — Leighton A, Southern California

Greatest Poster Arrangement Ever? Seriously, whoever is in charge of poster placement at the 28th Street #1 Station, you are my favorite person in the world.” — Mark, New York City

“I am so glad that you made this website. The moles and the horse head make it hard for me to believe that men find her attractive. I love the show, but the chick is a horse face for sure.” — Erika S.

“Too Funny!” — Todd B.

“Sarah Jessica Parker is beautiful.  Your comparison of her to a horse is infantile and rude.” — Gary M.

“…You are hilarious!” — Janet A., New Jersey

“…The women on that show resembled different species of wildlife. Cynthia Nixon reminded me of a lemur. The one who played “the good girl” looked like a confused kitten. The only exception was Kim Catrall who, of course, just looked like a crack-whore. By the way, did you see the photo of SJP where she was wearing this weird sort of flower-pot hat? She looked like something out of an old Little Rascals episode where there was a horse-drawn cart pulled by an old sway-back nag wearing a silly hat (SJP resembling the nag, obviously)…” — Mark C., Florida

“Wish I had beaten you to this one… I’ve seen saying bitch had a horse face for years. Good job.” — Bud G.

“…This site made me laugh out loud. Sarah Jessica Parker really is over-rated. You forgot to mention she also has veiny man hands. How could you miss that!?” — Jennifer S., New York City

“Wow. Photo #15 gets me every time. I have this sick urge to keep coming back to this site just to stare at that photo of her in mid-gallop. It haunts me, yet also keeps me distracted from my psychotic co-workers ranting and raving all day. Thanks!” — G.C.

“This is the best laugh I had all day.  Thank you.  I thought I was the only one.  I first heard Howard Stern joking about her as he played a tape of Stuttering Jon, a comic field reporter, being snubbed for an interview at some red carpet event, and then subsequently asked her as she walked away, “Sarah, Sarah, why the long face?” No pun intended.  Laughing my ass off. Thanks for the laughs — Dan C.

“…Just Curious. What particular psychiatric malady would cause you to not only come up with this site, but to actually spend time and effort on building and maintaining it? I mean, did this woman do something bad to you? She’s just some actress, right?” — Dan M., Seattle, WA

“…I made the mistake of checking out your site while on my lunch break at work.  I laughed uncontrollably to the point where I couldn’t explain to my coworkers what was so funny, so I printed out some of your material & had them read it.  I have long wondered why after several coats of makeup and hours of airbrushing her horse face still seems to be everywhere you look.  Poor Ferris Buehler wakes up to a scene out of “The Godfather” every morning…. poor guy!” — Dave G., Pittsburgh, PA

“…I have been saying that SJP looked like a horse for years and now your pics prove my point but maybe pictures of the other end of the horse might make more sense! I don’t think she’s good looking at all and why, oh why, with all her money doesn’t she get the damn, ugly moles taken off her face. She was in a movie called Hocus Pocus where she played a witch and they must have saved tons of money on fake moles.

I also think you could swap her nose and Owen Wilson’s nose and nobody would notice (see attached pic above).  Now lets talk about the man hands… with they veins and big, long fingers – they make me want to vomit! Thanks so much for the good horse laugh, nay, neigh!” — Prfctlildvl

“…This isn’t the first time someone made this comparison!” — Adam S., New York City

“… That’s the funniest darned thing I’ve ever seen.  Interesting that the horses are MUCH prettier than she is – by far! ” — Donna F.

“…Is SJP’s husband gay? He was on Broadway, right? ” — Kimberly E., Youngstown, OH

“How come some times SJP shows off her chin mole, and in some shots she airbrushed it off? We all know it’s there. Do the make-up companies thing we’re that stupid? — Tara M., Houston, TX

“…This is a very insulting sight. (sic) Horses are noble beautiful animals. The horses on your sight deserve an apology. I think SJP looks more, smells more, acts more, sounds more like a CAMEL. ” — R.G.

“…my sister worked on the hbo series during its last season. she said SJP had bad body odor. smelly. ” — Sally G., Silvercup Studios, Queens

“…Thanks for the laughs. I nearly crapped myself, those side by side photos were so f*cking funny!” — Cole G.

“…I’d rather be a horse face than a jackass.” — Flirty Fashionista

“…I like your site, I just had to laugh seeing those horse-resemblance photos! Now for the suggestion: put some photos from the movie Mars attack (or something like that, don’t remember the name exactly). Why? Coz there’s Sarah’s head on a dog’s body. I always thought it described her perfectly! Stay cool.” — Petar

“I’m reporting you PETA. The comparison is cruel to horses!” — Luke A.

“I’m sorry but this is just an insult to horses everywhere, especially the one in picture number 6 . You guys rock!” — Johnny M.

“So, you’ve proven the rumors.  The government has been secretly mixing animal and human DNA for years…and this is the result.  No wonder the ethicists want to shut the program down- who’d want to live their life looking like that? Great site…and totally scary!” — Greg S., Brooklyn, NY

“OMG! I think this website is so funny!!!! it is so true too! I told all of my fiends and they all laughed about it too! hahahahaha you should be proud of yourself…unless you are sarah jessica parker hahahaha lol.” —Ten Minute Oil

“I just finished crying laughing at the teeth pic!” — Casey B., Canada

“Wilber, why don’t you post a picture of yourself.  I bet you’re ugly too. I’m sure you’re just gorgeous.  Especially since you’ve had all this free time to put this website together.  Your social calendar must be so full. Why don’t you get help for your vag-envy.” — Christopher L.

“Comparing SJP to these horses is unfair to the beautiful animals. They are graceful, powerful, majestic equine. She is a lady with bad hair, an Owen Wilson nose, and a leathery, veiny body.” — G. W. Moore, DeGraff, OH

“…Love the site!” — Sean F.

“What a waste of time/space you are! This is the highlight of useless internet junk for sure. ” — Angele

“Hey Wilbur – question – are you a straight or gay man?  I’m guessing a straight man cuz most gay men love her but most straight men don’t have the time or energy to put into a website unless they live at home in their parent’s basement.  It really doesn’t matter – just trying to put a face to the website.  I’m a straight woman, in case you’re wondering.  Forty-four is my age.  I’m married – have a 13 year old daughter and 21 month old son.  Married to an attorney who like you, thinks SJP is in the horse family.  His best friend just sent us the site. Nice work. ” —Mary Bukovsgirl

“Hahaha! Seriously I LOVE IT! The pic of SJP running…completely awesome!!! GOOD WORK!” — Nikki M.

“…I thought I was the only one that thought she was ugly…” — Danny E.

“Naaaaaaaaaaaaaaay. Whenever i was forced to watch that over the hill horror show i’d get an intense urge to throw sugar cubes and carrots at my screen. i think there are a lot more people who want to ride horses than would ever want to ride sjp!” — Sarah E., New York City

“Damn! That is SOOOO f*cking funny.” — Michael D.

“…Thanks so much for exposing obvious and egregious lie ever perpetrated on the American public: that the four hags in Sex in the City show are beautiful. Okay, Kristen Davis is fine — even attractive. But the idea that SJP is a ‘style icon’ and ‘unconventional beauty’ is particularly offensive. It is for this reason that I commend you on your initiative in creating this website — a beacon of truth in a culture of Oprah-following, liberal-media-manipulated peons who swallow the tripe that 45-year-old slags like SJP and her entertainment posse have fed them. My only wish now is that you will create a sister website: Between Transvestite Horse, Used-Up Slut-Hag With Man Body, and Snaggle-Toothed Lesbian Pinhead, the very mention of this group should send any sensible person running to the vomitorium.  Thanks again for your brave and honest work.” — Jennifer, New York

“…How dare you insult the noble horse by putting it next to that horrid abomination?! You should be so unfortunate to have that ugly woman compared to you.”— OmegaForte

“…SJP should totally embrace her horseness, no shame in it.” — Rox and Ed

“I think what you’ve done here is very mean spirited and hateful. There is nothing wrong with that girl or her face.  Not everyone does age well and believe, me, “stablemaster”, you will age one day, too.  It happens to us all. I think it is very sad that you have made this site and how hurtful it will be to SJP.  You must feel very bad about yourself in order to make this kind of a site against someone who’s never hurt anyone, just to make yourself look or feel better.  But it doesn’t make you look good.  All it shows is that you are mean and spiteful and hurtful to others.  I hope you get the help you need, because you do need help. I’m sorry you feel you must drag this person’s name and face through the mud and I hope that you will think about how this may affect an innocent person (sjp) and take this site down. It’s not funny and neither are you.” — Jennifer

“…SJPLLAH is on the internet superstar podcast!” — Jonathan A., New York City

“…Very funny site! Incredibly clever! You may want to start another site entitled: Well, at least according to Peter Griffin from Family Guy, her face resembles a foot. 🙂 ” — Lindsay

“…You are going straight to hell. And I mean that as a compliment.” — Patricia, Phoenix, AZ

“You need to do another site dedicated to Nikki Cox. Have you seen her face!” — Samantha V.

“…Hey great site, just wondering what you have against horses?” — Stu

“This is really mean. Too mean. You should be ashamed of yourself.” — Suzanne H.

“…I’ve been saying for years that that woman looks like a horse, especially when she (it) moves her (its) head down or sideways. I just wanted to thank you for letting me know that I’m not crazy, and for verifying that it’s true. Great site. Maybe you could add a very short Naaaaay sound clip, each time a new horse page gets viewed, to stress the point. Thanks for the laugh.” — Bryan

“…I have always made that analogy. (SJP = Horse)  I am glad someone else see’s it.  Has SJP ever wrote you or does she know of the site?  Poor thing.  In actuality, her sister in another life, Jennifer Aniston, share the same long face and busted nose.  They both look like trannies and are butter faces.  You should check out them side by side to see the similarities.  However, SJP is more feminine and fabulous…” — Desire M.

“…I have been waiting years for someone with the time and energy to post exactly what I was thinking.  It has been years of waiting and waiting through various poorly acted movies (not the horsewhisperer though) and finally I am not alone. Maxim has it right. Family Guy has it right – That she looks like a foot also.” — Jon W., Los Angeles


“OMG!!!!!! That was SO FUNNY!!!! I love SJP but I honestly laughed my ass off!! I haven’t had a laugh that good in a looooooong time… Pics # 6 and 15 were esp priceless!!! I keep going back and looking at pics 6 and 15 and I just laugh harder each time.. and the Stablemaster thing!!! Kudos… awesome!” — Marquita A.


“I just had to email you to say this probably would hurt anyone’s feelings and  I wonder why you have to be so mean? Yeah its funny, sarcastic and bit full of its self, but at the expense of others. My sensitive side says that’s just wrong.” — Leah

“Your web site is great : thank you for a great laughs! Finally I can say (or show) how much i dislike this woman who seems to be the Center of the World now (some of my friends seem to have even forgotten the angelina twins-to-be-born or the Domaine de Miraval). The film has swept the female population of geneva, switzerland off it’s feet…but now i’m going to forward SJPLLAH! — Simone A., Geneva, Switzerland.

“…I have always called her “horseface!!” LOVE IT!” — Chris and Lisa

“…(The site is) brilliant! So well chosen, i love the one at the end, when she is a bride…and the “Lovely” ad, where she has that model-face and the horsie has that teen-idol look about him. They are all so cute, and there is something deliciously naughty in laughing at them. I just wish you’d do one with that silly hat she wore to the premier, along side a horse with a tall plume on his/her head!!! Those are too clever to be taken as insults… — Andrea, Miami

“I’d actually think a site like yours would be uncool, if SJP didn’t actually strut around like she is the fucking sh*t every second of every day! She does have a body, but she really thinks she is gorgeous! And what’s with all the pics she takes with her hair pulled up, leaving her face wide open…if you don’t have a pretty face, you do NOT leave it unmasked by pulling all the hair out of the way! Good job on the site!” — Steven

“…I work with horses and love them.  Saying SJP looks like a horse is an insult to all horses. Could she looks more like a lizzard?  But then, maybe the lizzard lovers would be insulted too…” — Christine J.

“Dear Stablemaster, You my dear, deserve a medal! This has got to be the most hysterical site I have even ventured upon. I laughed so hard and so much that i seriously, wet my pants.. NO kidding!! OMG, thank you so much for putting out what the rest of us have thought for years.” — Amelia S., Carmel, IN

“…She really looks like a horse. Very funny…” — JJ Paredes, Madrid, Spain.

“Seriously shouldn’t she get that gross mole removed!? I can’t even look at it. FYI Sarah not in style anymore! Yuk! I wonder if it grows a giant hair?? Hmm…” — Juile C.

“…Absolutely hilarious web site. LOL for hours…” — Eric

“This, by far, was the most hilarious site I’ve seen in months!.  You are so wrong, but I hate to admit, dead on. I damn near could not stop laughing! Rough day at the Fortune 500, but this made my day, man!”— Greg G.

“Love the site! hope you like the pic above! I caught it on one of my weekly hikes in the mountains. — Rodney M., Chicago, IL

“…Absolutely hilarious! I laughed from beginning to end! SJP is a horse face and now there is proof. Thanks so much.” — Adrian, Los Angeles, CA

“I think that you have too much time on your hands to actually make something like this. It is darn right mean and rude. How about your search within yourself and find some flaws? Maybe you have so many that you feel the need to drag other people down with you? Get a life.” — Jessica A.

“…Thanks for the great Monday humor. Ironically enough, yesterday my younger friend posed the question to me (in my 50’s), “Hey, what’s that show with the talking horse?” Of course (HA!) I responded, “Mr. Ed!” He laughed and replied, “No silly, Sex and the City!” As I typically read Perez Hilton, it was to my complete surprise and enjoyment that you scored a space on his website and all it said was: YOU MUST click here. OMG! I almost fell out of my chair laughing. You go people! It was nice to start the workweek with a good hearty laugh!” — Ivy J.

“…I really feel that these pictures were a cheep (sic) shot by someone who was just jealous…” — D.Frentz, Tonawanda, NY

“…You suck…” — Name Withheld by Request

“YOU were born in a barn…and your website is a bunch of manure.” — Maria U., Seattle, WA

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Send your comments to Wilber, the StableMaster at:


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